Shane says:
I used to watch many a maypole dance from my dads shop window in Shrewsbury of a Saturday morning.
How about following up with a little dwile flonking, the occasional pastime of my birthplace?
It took me seconds to employ Wikipedia to fill the gaping hole in my education:
A 'dull witted person' is chosen as the referee or 'jobanowl' and the two teams decide who flonks first by tossing a sugar beet. The game begins when the jobanowl shouts "Here y'go t'gither!"
The non-flonking team joins hands and dances in a circle around a member of the flonking team, a practice known as 'girting'. The flonker dips his dwile-tipped 'driveller' (a pole 2–3 ft long and made from hazel or yew) into a bucket of beer, then spins around in the opposite direction to the girters and flonks his dwile at them.
If the dwile misses completely it is known as a 'swadger' or a 'swage'. When this happens the flonker must drink the contents of an ale-filled 'gazunder' (chamber pot ('goes-under' the bed)) before the wet dwile has passed from hand to hand along the line of now non-girting girters chanting the ancient ceremonial mantra of "pot pot pot".
A full game comprises four 'snurds', each snurd being one team taking a turn at girting. The jobanowl adds interest and difficulty to the game by randomly switching the direction of rotation, and will levy drinking penalties on any player found not taking the game seriously enough.
Points are awarded as follows:
- +3: a 'wanton'- a direct hit on a girter's head
- +2: a 'morther' or 'marther'- a body hit
- +1: a 'ripple' or 'ripper'- a leg hit
- -1 per sober person at the end of the game
I'm not sure I believe all that, but am nevertheless planning to gather the bits and bobs needed for a hearty round of dwile flonking, and with some real-time guidance from Shane, play til I/we drop!
Care to join us?
5 comments:
Where can you buy a gazunder?
I already have one Toad, curiously enough, though it's enamel, not pewter.
I could paint it 'pewter grey' - I think that by the end of the game, no one would care a toss :-)
Would you be up for a game?
Better than cricket :-)
Sounds farcical. Im keen
D'ya wanna be first flonker Bio?
I'm a sitter for jobanowl.
I'm up for it, but only in its current beery form. There was a reason for using a gazunder in the original form...
Or so I am informed.
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