Judgement day

Venture Southland's HQ in Spey Street's a hive of creativity and yesterday, festivity as well.
It was Christmas Party time for the fertile thinkers that brainstorm Southland's future directions under the 'Venture' umbrella and they needed a greenie judge to apportion certificates and prizes for their 'office plant' competition. Robyn and I agreed to have a go at it and arrived in time to squeeze in 5 minutes of judging before the merry crew finished the 'secret Santa' stage of their day and swarmed upstairs to where we were frantically scribbling down notes, checking under leaves for hidden bribes and assessing the health (or otherwise Rex!) of the pot plants. Venture Southland has in its ranks some very high profile Southlanders who are no strangers to performances in front of crowds, so it was a high pressure situation for the two judges from the country (We're from the country!) but there were clear winners in most categories: the 'healthiest plant' went to the plant that was healthiest - a lush lettuce that looked ready to salad. It's neighbour, another lettuce, took the 'Orana Park' award for best wildlife and looked very unlikely ever to make it to the salad bowl. Some staff cheated, it was clear, though they denied it emphatically. There were enormous strawberries hanging from what looked to my gardening-eye, like alpine strawberry plants, well known for their tiny-even-when-ripe berries. The stems that supported the swollen giants looked suspiciously wire-like. Most creative of all the potted plants (all theoretically edible) was a small, indistinct plant whose 'carer' cared so deeply for its well being that he'd surrounded it with prayer flags, vials of arnica, a pellet of 1080, a Cheops pyramid and a host of other protective devices and charms, all designed to keep the plant from harm but so numerous that they'd all but crushed the poor wee thing! The 'most nurtured plant' certificate couldn't be awarded to any one else but Robin, though I feared he'd add it to the pile and completely crush the tiny thing. The 'best decorated pot' award went to Angela, with the rider that it was also the most trashy - swathes of gold beads wound around the plastic pot moments before the judging contributed to the tarty look but caught my eye anyway :-) The pace and pressure of the judging meant we missed the more subtle nuances of design and presentation, but once the crowd had dispersed, back to their cubbys and desks, we took a more leisurely look at the 30 or so pot plants and marvelled at the details. Tiny cut-outs of all his fellow workers were poked in the soil around one healthy parsley plant by its good-with-scissors owner. Another featured plastic leaves and blooms that would keep the spirits of the gardener up, should the real plant die. There were baubles and reindeer of doubtful genetic stock (I'm certain that was a cow with antlers selotaped on!), tinsel and little Christmas treats. And aphids, plenty of aphids. The office window ledge is perhaps not the most balanced environment for growing vegetables but the harvest of fun was worth the weeks of worry and attention the project required.
Lots of fun. Well done office gardeners!