Pat Brittenden writes lucidly on smacking and includes this story:
Here is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behaviour is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.
2 comments:
mmm so you want us to meet up at North Rd and serenade Ruby.
It is sad that society can get so polarised around something like smacking yet fails completely to look to solutions. Isnt it strange that to become a plumber you must serve an apprenticeship which is the passing down of knowledge from one to the other but when it comes to the far more important role of being a parent the same importance is not placed on education and support. However our community leaders have failed to understand our children are our biggest asset. If all the money wasted on Solid Energy was put into education imagine the return.
My brother's running a 'wild baby circus' in Invers tomorrow, Phillip. At that, our early childhood teachers will get a real blast of how big an asset our children are and how to behave accordingly.
As for warbling to Ruby - yes, see you there.
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